3-6-11 Cleansing and Healing

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell

3-6-11 Cleansing and Healing

Well I have really been working on the healing since last I posted...I have much to share.......

Thursday after work I was supposed to meet a friend for prayer and walking and that feel through, I was glad though as I was tired , cold and hungry. Sitting in the park I went through my coupons and realized my Friday's one was about to expire, so I called my son Jeremy to see if he wanted me to take him to dinner. Buy one get on free I figured I could splurge and he did deserve it for all the work he had done for me the day before cleaning out the tenants side of the house. We had a good chat and I talked about the house I was going to go look at , he said he feels I am going to get it and it would be smart as it has two rentable bedrooms plus a den I could rent also and he said if he comes with me he'd live in the basement. He comforted me and reminded me of some of the principles of the law of attraction that I had learned but forgotten lately (prolonged stress does that to ya), and he also asked me for advice and guidance with the people he is trying to help, and his dating woes and we both talked of our sadness of not having a romantic partner in our lives. He also said he was so upset as he went to talk to the pastor of the church he's been going to for advice and he was on vacation and how that disturbed him that he wasnt there in his time of need nor was there anyone else. I told him you know I had you baptised Catholic, and took you there as a child, you could always try that church again and they have a rectory and prietst are always there, want me to drive you by and show you were? (I hadnt taken him there since he was 6 so he forgot) and to my amazement he said sure....

So we drove to the church and I talked to him about how I used to take him and his brother, how we did the baptisms, the CCD etc. but I left the church when my husband went to jail, they had given me some bad advice and I later found out the priest had been bribed by my in-laws, I nearly lost my children because of that bad advice......but I digress, suffice it to say I have a love/hate relationship with the Catholic Church, I love it and am drawn to it but men and thier re-writing of the rules has made a mockery of the church that Jesus started and the traditions he left for his apostles to lead us. But tonight was not about that, tonight was about showing my son my faith and where I go for my answers and help. So we went in and I showed him how to light a candle, I said my intention out loud: Dear God please bring me a man and a new home to move to. Jeremy lit a candle too but he said his prayer silently. Then we went inside, he was amazed it was not locked (praise god for this church that can stay open) I dipped my hand in the holy water and crossed myself but he didn't want to. Then I went to a pew and knelt to pray, he sat there but I said you should kneel God seems to like that I always hear him better when I get on my knees....so he did too. My voice then began to speak to me in earnest and after each thing I wispered it to him: Thank you for bringing him here to me---I love you and I will help both of you----everything is going to work out just fine don't worry----you are a good person and will do good things---stop talking now so he can also hear my voice too, we both giggled at that one (my god always had a sense of humor) LOL   When we were done I said to him Jeremy I am sorry that I wasn't a better mother, I should have tried harder and he said to me Mom it's ok I know you love me and you did the best you could under the stress that you had to live with....healing was taking place, and so was forgiveness. I took him home then and I went home.

When I was getting ready for bed I looked at my attract your soulmate collage and touched each photo and read the lines and said a prayer for God to work on that for me, I noticed I had forgotten to put the picture of the couple on scooters and made a mental note to add that. Then about 9:30 I got a text message: Moderate Hiking? it said.......i saw it was from Randy, (even though I deleted his number I still had it memorized) Then I recalled that I had put an ad up on craigslist earlier looking for a hiking partner or a guy with a nice big safe harley to go slow and go riding with to see the scenery. I texted back: you making fun of me? go take your dog for a ride. Thought that may be mean enough to shut him up......my phone rang and my heart skipped a beat.......but it was my sorrority sister from college days, I quickly told her about him texting me and she had a few choice things to say, none of them nice....he texted again: I am in VT, stop over......Well that made us both mad and she said what a jerk wants his cake and eat it to Cassie don't give into him, stop over 7 hours away what selfish dick head.....I wasnt planning on it but I did reply meaner than was necessary: No thanks I havent had my rabies shots. That shut him up and then she and I talked about our mutual pains from the men in our lives but then I told her we need to heal from them, not all men are like that, there really are nice men out there we need to stop wanting bad boys. I got up the next day and I e-mailed him to say I hadn't posted that add for his attention and that I did not want to hear from him so long as he was living with her, there would be no more lying and sneaking about for me and to please not contact me unless she moves out and he's been to a doctor for a clean bill of health (when I first met him he told me he had just been tested, flings with unclean women aren't unusual for his life). I felt good, no pain, no anger no oh he wants her and not me, just a simple statement of what I would or would not accept. Those wounds are healing, and I will find a way to forgive him for picking her instead of trying a little harder for me....and just like the angel card that day had promised me: New Love, they would fix him and bring him back to me or they would bring me a brand new one. But they can't fix him unless he kneels down and prays for healing........his path is his path to choose....and that's ok because I am making right my own path with God's help and guidance.

Friday I worked a half day and then headed down to Keyport to look at that house. I ended up liking it but we did look at 3 others just to be safe. This one is vacant and there are some cosmetic fixes that it needs, and the owners left a bunch of junk in the yard and the basement. Seems to be the story of my life cleaning up and getting rid of junk that others leave behind. But there are many things to be excited about in regards to the house, 2 rentable bedrooms plus a room for my reiki office, a tiny view of the bay from my bedroom window, 2 full baths, a room in the basement we can fix up for Jeremy, and best of all sidewalks that I can walk on or ride my bike and its two blocks to the bay and 4 blocks to the main part of town full of resteraunts, cafes and the bulkhead with  a boat dock! Now all I need is a friend with a boat....but as fate would have it my best guy friend is looking into buying one! I happily headed north and off to my meetup event, dinner and a movie and we had fun at that even thought it was just me and a gal pal and a guy from the group. He was pretty nice, even offered to go buy me so raisinetts when I said I was craving some, I declined (trying to diet a little) so he gave me some gum, wow nice guys are nice aren't they I thought to myself.... see boat docking area below, beautiful isnt it?:

Saturday morning Kachina's new blog was up for the new moon energies: in2themystics.com It was all about how this moon's energy is about letting go, cleansing and releasing all that which does not serve us well and be in prepartion to embrace the new life that is coming. I know that it is very hard to let go of that which you know and embrace the unknow but when you walk a path of faith you realize that everything happens for you greatest good when you let go of the fear and let the universe work for you. So I happily set off to go see Northlandz, a model train musem with a gal pal I hadn't seen in some time and her new boyfriend. We had a lovely time and afterwards he invited me to lunch with them and insisted on paying for me as well. I reflected on what a great guy he was and even commented to Lisa wow this is the kind of guy I need, so tired of the "bad boys" and she said she had met him at a church function... I then went home, rested and got ready for my singles event, I was so pleased with my look with the new makeup Deb got me I decided it was time for a new profile pic (see below, not bad for 50 right?) LOL

At the event I went over and said hello to the drummer , relayed a message to the lead singer (his cousin and I went to computer classes together and she hadn't seen him in years) and then I talked to my old Reiki master, (she married the drummer) It was so good to see her, she's the one I started my healing with and the one whom I took my level 3 master class from. I was dissapointed to hear she isnt giving reiki now but pleased to hear she now does weddings, I told her when I find a man she can marry us! I also told her how I had dated Randy again over the summer, she had been with me since before I met him and all through the entire relationship. She said you know Cassie sometimes we don't belong with our soulmates in this lifetime, its his choice and sounds like he's still not choosing to evolve. I recalled how I had paid for and we had made an appointment with her for him and he didn't show up for it. I sure wish I knew why he doesnt want to heal but I guess that's his stuff to know. I also saw an old gal pal, she came over and said she was on a date, I was so happy for her because she has been seeing a married man for over a decade, I know it makes her sad. She came to say good bye before she left too and I told he how happy I was to see her working on changing her situation, we also taked about the fued we had had and said we were sorry it had gotten blow out of proportion by involving others and the social scene drama.

One other think happend last night too....I was uploading pictures onto the cassiescalendar facebook page and saw I got an e-mail. It was from someone who read my blogs on craigslist-- I have been posting the links to them all over the United States in order to get readers for the ad clicks (always trying to make a buck I am) and also because if someone reads the story of my path and tries it I think they to can heal thier lives and raise thier vibrations....anyway he said he had a show and he wanted to know if I would come in to meet him, he said I was a very intersting character and he wanted to get some footage, photos and do and interview for his show. I was very flattered but saw that he is located in Hawaii. I guess I should get braver and post my links closer to home? LOL But still that was the second time that day someone had called me an intersting character (Lisa's boyfriend had said the same when we parted for the day) Who knows.......maybe someday someone will read my blogs and find me interesting enough to pay me for my stories........I know I got a ton more to share and have been told my whole life that I should write a book......

Today I want you all to continue your healing, continue to let go of and walk away from (or at least takes steps away from) the people and the things and the situations in your lives that hurt you. And go and talk to anyone you can and work on forgivness......I dare you to move........

With Love and in the Light, Cassie

Switchfoot - Dare You To Move

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jE-Krlqi4fk