1-14-11 Time to Order New Seeds! This week my seed catalogs came in the mail, and for the first time in 4 years I didn't toss them!, finally I am going to be in a new home! And while I won't have a fraction of the land I have here to plant on (5 acres down to 0.5) LOL I will have some space and for this I am excited...I also noted that my move near the shore has put me in a new earlier planting zone! woohoo
 So Monday I go to work and had a our weekly staff meeting, I brought up a new project I am doing for the group and that made everyone happy, I tend to do that think up and start doing my own projects. I also met with my boss and got my yearly review, that went well but I didn't get the promotion to the new job opening I had hoped I would get, when I asked he said oh wow didn't even think of that....he said that now its posted they have to consider others but he would mention it to his boss..... I am keeping positive about this since several of my readings have indicated more money and moving up in my job. I need to earn more and I deserve to earn more because I work hard and take on more responsibilities. We must remember that what we ask of the universe to give to us also requires our work as well, there are no magic wands to be waved and there is no honor in hand outs.
I also got word from Mike that we can put in the formal offer for the new house I had found, the one close to Randy that he can't come see me unless he comes clean to the family he lives with--- I said go ahead draw the paperwork up and since the next day was 1-11-11 I was really excited about it knowing the energy of the day would propel it forward! Shortly after that I was on facebook and realized that The Outlaw Poet was back! I got all excited and took it as a sign that I was meant to be with Randy (as you recall all summer long his postings mysteriously reflected what was going on between us)....however let this be a lesson to you that all things you think are signs are not signs necessarily...a good rule of thumb is if your too attached to an outcome you often create signs for yourself so beware! Anyway.. I waited till his work break time and I texted him saying tomorrow is 1-11-11 make a wish and its likely to come true! I am putting the offer in on the house tomorrow..........his reply cut deep in my soul: we are not supposed to be talking. I sat there staring at it not knowing if he was being a smart ass or he was really trying to get rid of me. As I said our interaction on sat went round and round , he talks from both sides of his mouth, one foot in one foot out with me--i understand it though its a dance I know well, the dance of the wounded soul. So I sat there a bit and I finally said: Someday you are going to regret tossing aside the one person who cared about you the most (he knows its true he's said so many times) His reply to that: We're not talking- I don't hear you La La La I was in shock, I hurt , I was mad! It lasted till I feel asleep that night and it was done. He's wounded me so many times now I am numb to him. Mary said that he just can't quit punishing you for leaving him, he won't let it go-----let him go. I am.
Tuesday I did what had to be done, signed and faxed papers, sent in a deposit check all that stuff to make the bid on the house down the block , I put it as my wallpaper on my computer (3rd house hope 3's a charm) LOL and I felt peace and was glad that I had remembered to go back there on sat after Mike and I left and toss some spiritstones there. I put three, two amethyst and one rose quartz to signify a partner and love to come together there. Humm, I wonder if I should have asked to buy the king bed that was in the master bedroom now.... That night I began reading a new book I got on clearance by Sylvia Brown called Mystical Traveler...its amazing how I see myself in this book! I have given my will over to god, i have spent a life of healing and service, I have been a loner quite a bit as well. I am to do great works still I think to bring people together and to raise the consciousness of the planet....we have much coming our way more need to evolve higher! I spent the remainder of the week throwing myself feverishly into my social networking events, and I am working with several people now. Debbie and I are working on the Superbowl party, AnnMarie and I on a dinner and dance event, Anthony and I on his Improv workshops. He even let me make a graphic for him and put an affiliate of CC on it. He thanked me for believing in him which was not necessary, I do see the value of Improv on many levels and I think he and I can work together to do great things with this. I am only sorry that my old guy friend is not a part of this but I can't allow him to be until he does the right thing, its not in the cards though... but you never know who may choose a better fate and when.... Oh well at any rate for now no more wishing and dreaming and hoping its time for work...springs right around the corner!
Today I want you to think about what you want to bloom in your life this spring and summer and I want you to ask yourself some hard honest questions about what you are doing to make those things come to you. I want you to stop holding on to dreams that aren't coming true, people who aren't enhancing your path, soon the time for planting will come so get ready to do that work! Throw out last year's seeds and look through the catalogs to see what new you can order to grow in your gardens this year....not to worry, if you have any perennials with good healthy roots they will sprout again.....
"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger." The Buddha
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