11-14-10 A Crooked Path is Fine

 11-14-10   A Crooked Path is Fine

New Beginnings that was my card for today and I woke up  feeling like it was a new day dawing. Jeremy was home the night before and asked me to wake him at 8:30 am but he got himself up and went out somewhere. He would not tell me where but my guess is he got some kind of community service slapped on him when he appeared in court on Wed. That's how he got out, they set up an appearance for the one he had not shown up for. I gotta say this whole town's judicial system, from the cops to the judges to the probation officers, know and look out for him. Reminds me some of the old days when it really was a village that raised a child, we need more thinking this way, especially with so many single parent households.... But anyway I was so glad to see him taking care of things and not worrying me with them, or trying to make me feel bad about not doing things for him. It's hard but I know he is going to get a sense of pride in himself for doing for himself and getting himself through this.

I had gone Saturday and looked at a couple of places in the town that I work in. At first this was very upsetting to me because I want to go to Keyport so badly, but I did actually find a place in a complex that will be available next weekend, and I can also rent a garage there as well. This made me feel better the thought of having all my things at one location rather than some with me and some at a storage facility in Flemington. Yep this is where I think I can hang for a year while my house sells if that be how this pans out , I can get my credit cards paid down some, and  shop for a new home....heck maybe I can even meet friends or even a new boyfriend there! I drove home feeling a bit better and got ready to go meet my friend Chris and go to Dave and Buster's to celebrate her daughter's birthday. Not having a daughter of my own I often "adopt" my friends daughters so I can buy girly things and give boy advice and such. She just started seeing a nice boy who's in the Navy so I made sure to give some encouragement on that. If I had my life to live over I would have joined the Air Force when I applied during one of my between college episodes (I got kicked out for a semester 3x for partying and getting bad grades) LOL I am sure I would have met a nice man and not ended up with a "bad boy"......but then again at 50 here I am still chasing bad boys instead of dating nice men......

Anyway Chris and I had a good time together as we always do, with the exception of one huge falling out not speaking to each other for nearly a year episode (mostly because of the idiot she was dating at the time LOL) we have been friends for over 10 years, she even went to Texas with me when my son graduated boot camp and we do plan to travel together someday.. Anyway we talked a lot about Randy as she had known him when I dated him 3 yrs ago...she reminded me why I left him then and said don't forget they are ex-es for a reason and it seems like he is still acting the same as before, putting play time before you, not showing up when you need him, all in all she helped me see I hadn't lost anything so great even though she too agreed we had a sort of destined to be together type relationship when it was good, it just wasn't dependable enough in times of trouble. I learned two other things that night one was I totally do not like noise and people (I had a real hard time with the noise level and people at the restaurant) and I have become addicted to my quiet, she said I wasn't going to like apartment living (she is a manager of a large complex) and I know I am not but hopefully I can tolerate it. We also talked about traveling together sometime soon and decided on Morocco, sounds so exotic doesn't it? I told her that since she has all these travel agent connections perhaps we can set up trips, host them together and get our vacations free using CassiesCalendar ..... I got a feeling I just figured out how to get to travel a lot on my budget .......screw Vermont there's a whole wide world out there!

So today I was happy and looking forward to the day, I made plans to meet my realtor in Keyport to look at a couple of apartments just because I wanted to cover all bases....well both of them were totally un-suitable but there also had been a cheap house, one that was very near the price range I was pre-approved to buy even now, before my house sells........so we went to see it and I like it, I really really do like it....and as I turn to go down my street I can see the bay! I drove down there and discovered that it ended up at a park, with a beach and in that park you can see the very same view of the boats and the bridge that I could see in my dream home on Sunrise, the one I wanted but lost.....this was way better for me than the yellow house too and cheaper! And better for me to have to walk to the view I like, instead of sitting on a deck...maybe someday when I am older, or marry someone who can help me buy it I can still get my dream house but for now this one is great. It's also bike riding distance to the Wawa (Jeremy works for wawa) so IF he'd pay some rent and not bring friends home he could possibly live with me and we'd get along, he'd even have a private entrance and there's a room for my reiki office too...so I told Mike  to see what he could do, ask them can I rent now and then buy it and see if they will wait till my house sells so that I don't have to touch my last 401K for a down payment....crossing my fingers... He's been such a great realtor, putting up with my spiritual predictions, standing there patiently while I figure out where in each house we looked at I would place my furniture, never complaining about my constant switching around. Yep he's a great realtor I want to buy something with him he deserves the commission if you are home shopping  contact Mike! There was a dead possum right next to were I parked my car but I think the kitty door in the garage door trumped that, I want a cat but I hate a smelly litter box in the house! Yep maybe just maybe I found my house....

I drove through town after leaving Mike and it's already decorated for Christmas down there, normally I don't much care for this so early but this time I appreciated it, it's so pretty and made me start thinking about how great it will be to decorate my new home this year no matter where I end up. I went to the fishery and got my favorite shrimp sandwich and pulled across the street to sit in my car and look at the bay and eat my dinner. I took a walk along the bulkhead and tossed an Inspiristone in and gave thanks to God for the water, my life, the possibilities before me.....I didn't feel one bit sad about seeing the couples sitting there eating their dinners or strolling hand in hand. I didn't miss Randy either, I know I made the right choice for me and I know I won't be calling him to come over, note even if I need help, I won't even be telling him wherever I end up living....nope he is an ex for a reason and I am not sad or mad I am glad because now I have possibilities, and he has his kids and his snowmobiles.....it really is true, to change your life all you really need to do is change your attitude! I smiled to myself a bit thinking of how stubborn I had been with my guides on Wednesday night at Melissa's but I know they were looking out for me but I think, I really do think we came up with a new plan that could work...

I don't yet where I am going to be moving , but I do know that I can just sit back now and leave this up to God and I know that I can be happy however this turns out.....a college friend posted this on his wall today:  Faith and trust = doing all in your power then getting out of the way so God can do the heavy lifting.........Ok God, I did my leg work, I put in my order and I am ready to trust you to wrap this up and move me into the home that I belong......

Today, even though your path may be quite crooked, leading you down so many dead ends, and back tracking and such can you have the faith and trust and patience in God to get you where you need to be? The less you seek to plan and define and the more you leave yourself open to possibilities the more he can work something truly special out for you......do not worry your path will always lead you home the question is how long will you wander until you learn to accept and be happy with the NOW..........

With Love and in the Light, Cassie

"The world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles, no matter how long, but only by a spiritual journey, a journey of one inch, very arduous and humbling and joyful, by which we arrive at the ground at our feet, and learn to be at home."- Wendell Berry, The Unforseen Wilderness

 Indigo Girls - Closer To Fine

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUgwM1Ky228

GRATITUDE
If Life is the gift (and it is)...
then we must take all of it.
Loss is not a curse,
it is an opportunity.
If Life is the gift (and it is)...
then it is not so much what we
have gained or given up,
but how our heart has received it.
If Life is the gift (and it is)...
then we have been given a lifetime
to see that what lies before us and beyond us
should be embraced.
We are meant to have it all.
If Life is the gift (and it is)...
then accepting it with love is our
greatest present.