11-29-10 Re-write This Scene!

11-29-10     Re-write This Scene I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving, I went to my friend Eve's house and celebrated with her and her 3 kids, Jeremy even went with me! It very well could be the last holiday I spent with him though.......because it eneded with me getting arrested because of him! Yup, no lie... It started tuesday at work I got all upset because my realtor said they changed the law and unless I can prove that I have at least 25% equity in my house that I can't get the second mortgage to buy the gray house and he said the guy's realtor said he probably wasn't going to go for this rent thing while I wait for mine to sell after all. But he delivered the paperwork on monday and I met with Mary on tuesday to see if she could get anything on this. Luckily my grandma came through, which is rare these days as she spends most of her time with my mom who is ill. She had some messages for me according to Mary. First she said that I need to stop worrying so much and seeking so many opinons that I keep throwing obstacles in the path. She also said that woman is going to leave Randy in the spring, that she's been saving money and planning it for a long time, and she has been to his house and its a horrible horrible mess and I would never want to go live there again. She said she would clear the path and to just relax and wait for it to happen that I can be in my new home so I can decorate and cook for Christmas. So I decided to wait over the holiday and just be at peace as much as possible and see what messages came to me. That was the plan anyway..... Wednesday after work I went and bought a cheap winter coat at Wal-mart because mine are all packed in the back of the pack-rat, I had some credit on my cards because I got a letter from one of them and they offered me 0% interest for one year on balance transfers so I transferred all my balances to one card, worse case I can keep up with payments on them and the one huge one I can work something out for later once my home sells. I met a friend for drinks and got home early enough to watch some more of my family videos, it was bitter sweet and I went to be and cried for my sweet innocent little Jeremy who had grown up into someone I can barely talk to these days. But thursday morning I woke to a text from him saying to wake him he'd go with me to Thanksgiving dinner! I was ectatic! So in the afternoon we drove to my friend Eve's for dinner, she, I and our kids have spent a few thanksgivings together so it was like being with family. Eve asked Jeremy where he was going to live when I moved and he said he was going to stay in the house and burn it piece by piece for heat, she tried talking to him for me but there was no listening so we left that topic.  We all had a very lovely time and I enjoyed the day besides that.I had waitied all day hoping Randy would text me but he did not. Mary pointed out that I had made it so he can't contact me but I said he could if he wanted to, he just won't because of them. So the day went well till about 7pm and for some reason I felt a bit of an anxiety attack, I didn't think it was me but who knows. We were sitting there and all of a sudden the lamp started moving, and we felt a cold air. I have no idea why but Eve and her kids were all freaking out, the lamp moved in the room next to Jeremy also. Mary thought it was a spirit trying to get my attention so I would "see the light", what I am meant to see I have no idea. I had agreeed to "open my gate" to let things come through to me more but I havent had much success, I expect when I am moved and settled for things to be better. I just have so much stress now I can't handle anything else. Friday I was supposed to meet a meetup group for a movie but the place was packed and I didnt get in, I ended up renting movies and came home and watched them and nappend and basically isolated most of the day.....my head just going round and round on what town to move to, in the end though I decided that I want to go to Keyport no matter what. I watched Eat, Pray, Love again and was inspired to get down on my knees and pray to God and I asked him can I go to Keyport now, or where should I go please help me and I really want that gray house....the only thing I felt I heard was... better than the one on Sunset? and I said yes yes this is more affordable for me, and all on one floor.....its better. I also said a prayer for Randy and my voice said he wants to stay with the kids longer, he knows its going to end soon. It made some sense to me in the moment but I can't at all tell you why it did. Saturday I woke up and my son had friends over so I went up to see who and was upset to see some girl who I don't know and I gave him a fresh lecture on it and told her to never ever come back here again. She said she would not and Jeremy said he forgot again that he isn't allowed to have people there. I reminded him agan to get to social services to get a place and he just ignored me. That night I went to visit friends and driving home I realized how close it was to Keyport in relation to where I live now and decided once and for all to go to Keyport one way or another. So sunday morning I made appointments to meet with my realotor and with a friend and see some places. My plan was to drive down, go to mass in the new church and spend the day looking at apartments......I also wanted to drive by the gray house and toss some inspiristones...... So much for plans.......as I was coming downstairs to leave I saw that girl out in my yard talking to my son and a couple friends and I went out and yelled at her what the heck are you doing back here after I told you yesterday to not be here? She starts yelling, got mouthy and refused to give me her name, I asked my son and his friends her name and they said nothing. Then I said leave now, she starts walking down the hill mouthing off and left her clothes and coat , I picked them up and threw them at her saying take your stuff because you are not coming back here, turns out there was a BIG flashlight in her stuff and it hit her in the back of the head! She went nuts after that still refusing to leave so I went in and called the police, she called her mother and my son and his friend left me there. When the cops arrived they had no choice but to arrest me because she did in fact have a wound on the back of her head and she claimed that I walked up behind her and struck her and have no witnesses. The cop asked where's Vito (my son's nickname) and when I told her she said what a coward wont even stick around for his mom. Needless to say I missed church, but when I went in to get my purse I noted the time 11:11 and felt on some level that God was a part of this situation....at the station the cop told me that she admitted me telling her to stay off my property, she advised me to sign a counter complaint and in all likelyhood everything would be dropped. She said I need to go file eviction proceddings on Jeremy and said I should have done that when he stole my car but understood why as a mother I had not. She then asked which one of the kids built the penis snow scultptue in my yard last winter complete with hair formed out of the long pine needles from the trees. We got a good chuckle out of that and she said what all the cops and therapists say, I did my best with my son, and he's a good kid but he keeps choosing the wrong friends..... So last night I texted a few close friends about being arrested, one of them Randy and he was the first one to reply....he asked if I needed to be bailed out, said what I need is some good pokey, I wont tell you how that all went back and forth but it didnt end well at all.......the last thing I said was I lost everything now and I hope he felt better and  had I been punished enough now for leaving him, not funny he said but I ignored it. I wasn't trying to be funny.......... I am moving to Keyport and I am praying to God to not let his and my paths cross again...... I went to sleep praying for peace and answers and woke up with song lyrics in my head.....how'd we end up like this and lets re-write and ending that fits.......yep I am not liking this ending I am having right now from my son and this home......I need a re-write.....so I made plans to take tommorow off and go file the counter charges, an eviction and in the afternoon go look at apartments......and made one last request of my realtor to try to get me that gray house......we will see how the story goes after this....... How's your life going these days? Are your scenes smooth or are you living your own hollywood horror? Please know that ANYtime the script of your life is not playing out the way you intended you can ask for a re-write, just STOP, go over the scene, see what you can change, pray for God to change what you can't change and then get back in the action........ you are never stuck with the script the way it is now, never........don't give up just re-write it! With Love and in the Light, Cassie Nickelback - Someday http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzFlUiPvwQ8