12-10-10 New Doorways

12-10-10     New Doorways Well Wednesday came and went and I have not signed anything to move into that house, I had to call and cancel the pack rat and the cable appointments and sit there and wonder why.... I finally got back to a point of acceptance and peace, and was glad to see it was much easier this time than in the past. Work has kept me busy with nearly a week long of day long meetings. Ugh how I abhor the corporate world! But I like the paycheck and the benefits! LOL And I at least feel that I do a job that benefits humanity, I am a product quality analyst for a major pharmaceutical company. I do a lot to keep things safe for consumers and take my responsibilities very seriously. So anyway, Thursday rolls around and we wrap up the week with a holiday luncheon, it was nice to get to spend some time with the team and after lunch I was all happy and relaxed and looking forward to my date with John (the ex-marine) that night. I went back to the office to do a bit of work and freshen my make up. He texted to say he was going to be a half hour late and was very thankful when I took it in stride. I was just about to head out when my realtor called and said that the township wanted to meet with she and I on Monday to discuss making an offer on my house! Woohoo I thought! She got more nervous than me at that point but I told her listen, now it's all just about the money, so keep in mind how much they tax assessed me at and know that I am not going to go much lower than that without just cause. She took a few deep breaths, I told her write up the contract over the weekend so all we have to do is write in the number to get it over to the lawyer, with a little luck I will be able to still get that pack rat moved and unloaded by next Friday! I headed off to meet John with a skip in my step that totally kept me from being nervous or self-conscious. I arrived at the diner and he pulled in not too long after and called to say he was right behind me. I got out and turned to see him walking towards me and I must say my heart did flutter! He looked a little older in person, more distinguished and the 12 yr age gap didn't seem so big after all..... He seemed dissapointed that all I wanted was coffee and not dinner but I assured him I was full from lunch but could stay and talk as long as he had time for. We hit it off famously and turns out he's very very much like me, also a Virgo like me, I only hope we aren't too much alike...he told me how he has had tendencies of being used and unappreciated as well...I wonder what happens when two "givers" get together? This is some research I could get into! We both discussed "issues" we had with others and felt the relationship out for those and were relieved. He revealed a great deal about himself and then said wow you are only the second person I ever told that to! It was nice to be so open wiht one another and not hide things. The one problem though was he has his kids often on the weekends (age 9 and 11). I told him simply that I would date him but I would not wait for him, he looked pretty sad at that statement so I added: Listen we can date, and if the Universe wants us together it will work things out for us someway somehow. He smiled wide at that and said I like that, I like that a lot. We had to cut the date short though, his phone vibrated 4 times in the first 20 min and I finally said you better get it and he said thank you and picked up. During the date there were about 4 more calls him trying to get someone to pick up blue prints for him and threatening to fire the guy. I finally said you can go, I won't be mad, again he was grateful for my understanding. He paid the bill ( an man who pays woohoo!) and walked me to my car and we hugged and nuzzled each other a few times before he left, it was cold and we lingered quite awhile despite it..both of our eyes sparkling with the prospect of what may be for us...finally I said go, go we can make another date soon and  I got in the car and headed home and after texting a friend who was in town to let her know I was coming home early my phone rang, thought it was her but it was John! He apologized about having to leave and said he felt like turning the car around and coming back, I said no soon enough I will be living in the next town over we will have time for each other then..... later that night we texted and flirted back and forth till I fell asleep...... Maybe good things really do come to those who wait........ This morning though I was dissapointed to find out that he is not available to see me tonight as we had hoped, and for the weekend he has his kids....I told him curtly to let me know when he has time for me and went about the business of my day trying to not let my negative, needy, he must not really like me nagging voice to get to me. No I told myself I am going to take him at face value I am going to believe him and I am not going to demand from him to prove he cares. The man is out working not out playing with the boys, and he has two young children of his own who need him. Just relax and let him find time for me....I am not going to let fear of rejection and abandonment sabotage a potentially good relationship before I even give it a chance. I am not going to let my emotional neediness rear its ugly head, nor am I going to start this relationship not trusting. I am going to give him a chance, I am going to give us a chance...and allow the Universe to work it all out..... Today is Dec 10th and according to Pat's newsletter a very very important day, a day of extreme light and extreme potential. I myself feel that I have so many things ready to happen for me in my life, the only thing I need to do is remember always, with each step, each turn on my path that to choose love and not to choose fear. I am going to love the process of selling and moving and I am going to choose not to fear trying to allow love into my life yet again. Today is a doorway forward into my new life of light and of love.......what about you? The door is open....are you ready to walk through it?? Better hurry.....cuz baby it's cold out there....... With Love and in the Light, Cassie Baby It's Cold Outside http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPYN0T7DBtw