12-22-10 Misfit Christmas?
Well it's nearly Christmas and I been cracking jokes with my friends, we decided that this year we feel we got left on the Island of Misfit Toys! I do feel like I am sitting here trying to keep warm by a tiny little fire waiting for King Moon Racer to pick me up and take me to a home where I will be loved.....but that's ok I have my friends....and I am going to have a happy little Christmas with them!
So Monday night, before the solstice full moon eclipse I took Jeremy for his first ever Reiki treatment, he didn't hate it. I was quite pleased, as I sat there I felt like a lot of my burden of concern for him was lifted, like the doorway was opened for him to begin his own healing and path of self discovery and growth. He and I went to dinner together and came home before too late. I realized I had still not heard from Randy who had promised me a photo from his snowmobile trip, and despite that my inner voice kept telling me he hadn't gone at all I texted and asked if he got home ok. He replied back: It was fun and then sent me a picture of him and his "son". Ok glad you had fun I know you are busy take care I sent back.
I sat there and read up on all the energies that were going on that night and was very excited about it and did some meditations on what I hoped to attract to me, a home, a loving husband, peace and happiness for my boys....and my phone rang.... I was surprised to see it was Randy! He told me about his trip and I was so glad to hear that he had fun, I was still confused with the messages coming in that he hadn't gone and this was an old picture but I kept suppressing them. Who knows, but this is why its extremely hard for an intuitive to be with someone who's not always honest, if he was lying to me it was out of pride and I do know that no matter what you accept what someone says as truth because what they tell you matters. I shifted focus though and told him it was time to ask for a job upgrade, to full time days and get away from the car repair that takes up his weekends. He's got a list of fears though of why he doesn't want to ask so I said well its your life, your choice.
He then started asking me about the singles event I had gone to, had I met anyone, was I dating anyone and I said nope nope but still working on it. He told me I am too picky maybe, or maybe I don't really want anyone and how long you been divorced again? I told him to not worry about me I would find someone when the time was right and at least he had found his happiness.........nope I haven't he said, I got my kids but I got no girlfriend. I cut him off and said you made your choice on that issue and I told him I had to go but to take care and thanked him for his offer to help me move when the time comes.... I went to bed that night with some anxiety when I realized here I had passed up an opportunity to try and work things out, and on such a high energy day too! I want him I prayed but only in the right way Lord.....no more suffering for me.  The next day I was at work and got a call from my realtor, he said that the realtor for the grey house called and said the owner spoke to the township and the contract is ready and am I ready to sign and place my offer? I thought you told her I said no last week? I did he said. What happened to that cash offer she said she had? Looks like you called her bluff and was right he said. Well you tell her no thank you, my offer of full price was contingent on being allowed to rent for a couple months so I'd have a home for Christmas and can un-pack my pack rat so no tell her no thank you we are looking at other houses in the New Year. OK he said I will tell her. But between you and me, I will make a lower offer in the New Year, she's not the only one who can play the game I said!
So after work I met with the mortgage guy and we crunched the numbers based on my sale price, which sadly I had rushed to take because I thought the grey house people were going to honor their promise and let me move in now. But anyway sadly since I took the first offer, I don't have enough to pay full price anyway, they'd have to come down a little for me to afford it.......so what seemed to be an awful delay actually protected me. I bet I can get the price down too quite easily in the New Year, if not then I am sure there is something else even better...still I am going to wait till the New Year like I promised, and after Mercury retrograde. Patience is a virture, my Dad used to infuriate me with that quote LOL, but I am seeing the wisdom of it (and it only took me 50 years!) hahaha
Then Randy called me again last night! I had texted him earlier in the day to ask his advice on letting my son go to Florida with his friend to possibly go to school there for free, he said it was a good idea till I told him which friend he wanted to go with! But still he called me and said that it would be good for him and good for me so I could work on my relationship. But I don't have one I cried! So then he tells me that when I move there, since I am so close he could come see me often......I froze for a couple heart beats....this is what I wanted but it's also not what I wanted and what my guides were stopping me from before in regards to moving down to the town that I love.... So I told him yes you can see me sometimes but only as friends, I can't date you so long as you belong to "her"....and then he starts going on about how he doesn't belong to her but I cut him short. While you still live with that woman you are NOT dating me, he said I think she's gonna leave or I may get rid of her. Well IF she's gone and I am still single I will date you. He had to go then, was only on a break, said he'd call at 9pm....the last he mumbled was about the kids and about how much money she pays him to live there and how it was nice to have that help.....He said I know now why people with kids who are miserable married stay together sometimes, I don't know how to fix this he said. I want to be with you but if she goes so do the kids and the cats and the dog.......PRAY I told him. The energies are very powerful now and ask God and the angles to help you come up with a solution.....ok I gotta go work now call you back when I am done........sure if you want to I said, not wanting to get too committal or needy, wanting to talk to him but at the same time not wanting to get all attached again. He never called........and today I texted and said I waited for a call and never got one.......no reply yet.... Oh well, whatever........I am learning detachment to outcomes......sure I want that grey house, sure I want Randy to be brave enough to get rid of that woman and that life he says isn't complete with out me but if I don't get the things that I want I trust in the Universe to bring me something better.....so here I am single another Christmas, no husband to decorate or even a house to decorate...but there's always next year.....my King will find me.....  Soon it will be Christmas, I bet a lot of you have a few things on your wish list that you hope to get....and a few things you want in your life for the coming year...... Today I want you to let go of what you want and be prepared to accept what you get with the utmost gratitude and joy and know that what ever shows up for you or whatever may not show up, please know that everything is as it should be..........
With Love and In the Light, Cassie
Where are you Christmas? | 
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