12-25-10 The Spirit of Christmas

12-25-10  The Spirit of Christmas Is everyone having a Merry little Christmas today? You know you don't have to be Christian to celebrate with those of us who are, Christmas first and foremost is about the gift of LOVE, for we believe that today is the day Jesus Christ was born on this earth to live, teach and to die for us, the greatest gift of love possible God sent his son here for US, because he loves us and so much yet we had sinned so much and he didn't want us to have to pay for those sins, that's why he sent his son to take our place for all the wrongs we did and will ever do.....I am learning more and more everyday what love really is all about.... Thursday I worked from home and supervised Jeremy cleaning up the house a bit, even though it's almost bare in here, and we weren't spending Christmas here that old clean and prepare instinct is strong in me! I did light a red candle in the green holder that I have LOL, and I have a few cards that came in from my friends who still send snail mail, and  lots more electronic cards...I even got an e-mail from Randy wishing me a Merry Christmas....I wish he could be with me just a little but I won't ask, don't want to hear him say no cuz he's going to be with them... I also met Mary for dinner, she was trying to encourage me to ask Randy to meet me for midnight Mass on my way home from NYC....I was considering it but then thought better of it....if he is alone as she suspects then he needs to be alone and pray like I told him to do, I can't pull the cocoon off the butterfly no matter how much I want to....she still thinks he and I will end up together but I am trying hard to not think about it and worry about my own path. I also spoke to the lawyer for the township who said he had the contract ready for my house, but I needed to have my lawyer look it over first, oh and all this had to be done by the 30th or they could possibly loose the grant money they have for it....nice 3 yrs of looking at my house, down to nearly half of my original asking price, and now they want to rush me into signing in a week, over the holidays, and during mecury retrograde  no less! But Cheryl called Tony (my lawyer) and he said he'd look it over and be ready for me monday...that man is saint I tell you! I met him when my son first got into trouble and we had to get a lawyer, he was very reasonably priced and let us pay in installments, and he gave a few fatherly talks to Jeremy. Yes an angel of a lawyer that man is. Friday I got up and headed into the city to meet my cousin and his boyfriend, they took me to see The Nutcracker at Lincoln Center and then to this fancy Brazilian steak house for dinner, all their treat! I gave them both a SpiritStone and shared with them what they can do and asked them to choose something for me to put the intention of in for them.  After dinner we walked over to see the tree and watch the ice skaters. There was a cheering in the crowd on the ice and we realized that some guy had just proposed to his gal, truly a magical moment, I felt a twinge of sadness as my greatest wish was that Randy would magically appear and propose to me, but I repressed it. It was so good to spend time with Brad, he was like a brother to me growing up. I had posted on my wall about how excited I was, that we had grown up together and always did all the decorating for the holidays, it's actually inspired him to launch a business of his own: http://www.thechristmasaddict.com/ It was hard for me to accept their generosity, as much of my life I am the giver but I gotta say I may be broke this year but I have seen that sometimes when you are your poorest is when life gives you your richest gifts! It's funny too how the night before I was getting ready for bed, it was late but my voice said to read a few pages in my Sylvia Brown book, about having spirituality in all the relationships in your life, a good book I recommend it. But anyway she was talking about homosexuality and how it wasn't to be judged and more things that i already believed but she said one thing I had never heard before and that was that Jesus never once said it was wrong! I posted as much in my status when the conversation turned that way when my friends congratulated me on my evening in NYC and I repeated what she said---well that got my bible thumping older boy on a roll and the messages flew back and forth! Such emotion that kid has on this topic! I am going to have to write a blog one day soon on my personal thoughts on homosexuality, how I came to my personal beliefs and share it for you all for your consideration... But I digress. Last night, I don't think I could have spent a more lovely Christmas eve, I just may make it a tradition! There was much talk and sharing, I was disappointed to hear them tell me that they don't go to any church and the reasons why they don't, the condemnation and the judgment is so sad. But I was glad to hear of the spiritual things they have studied and how their faith mirrors my own. Rik actually works for a clinic in Florida that provides medical care for Aids patients who don't have insurance. Both of them do much charity work for humanity, and I told them how wonderful that is, how proud I am of them and not to let suffering concern them too much that there is great lessons and growth in it... But anyway I need to wrap this all up for now, I am heading off to a lovely Christmas day dinner that my warm hearted Jewish friend put together for my son and I, she loves us so much and felt bad that we had no home to cook in this year she is even making us Ham (my family tradition) and invited over some of her jewish friends to fill the table! So Christmas Eve with the homosexuals and Christmas day with the Jews! I am so blessed to be loved and accepted by them, me this crazy cafeteria catholic, who studies and embraces more faiths that I have time to mention. They not only like me they LOVE me! Before I left the city last night I looked up at all the lights in Times Square and felt lonely, I recalled the photo in Randy's phone of him and his "wife" and kids and I felt a bit resentful that he never took me and my son there, or hardly anywhere yet he did for them all the things I prayed he'd do for me and my sons. It bothered me for a bit and I prayed about it as I headed back to NJ...then the voice inside me said, "he just doesn't have it in him" when my thoughts were on wishing he'd come bring me a ring and make everything right.... then the voice said "but he'll help you move in" and I decided to be happy with things as they were rather than mope that they aren't what I want. Shortly there after a CassiesCalendar buddies called and said he saw my pictures that I was in NY and he was there working did I want to come up for hot chocolate and see his office, already heading home but next time I will call you I said......and I had tons and tons of my friends messaging me today, and also some college friends sending love and understanding when they saw the fight I had with older boy.......no I may not have a husband but I have lots and lots and lots of love! Today I want you all the consider the true meaning of this holiday and see where you can love more in your life, give it as it's the greatest gift.....until you learn to give and receive love you will always feel empty inside, nothing you can buy and put under a tree can ever fill that void. A quote by   Roy L. Smith a friend posted last night sums it all up: 'He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree.' With Love and in The Light, Cassie   Merry Christmas!!!!! The reason so much of humanity commemorates this day is that so much of humanity seeks to give and receive love. During this holy time, know that all times are holy, that every religion holds truth, that each tradition is sacred, and that it is in the simple sharing of love that we make our beliefs come alive, and our dreams come true. Let this Christmas Day remind us that Christ came to invite us to offer love to all humankind, and to open the door of God's kingdom to every soul. Merry Christmas, everyone. ~Neal Donald Walsh~ Harry Belafonte - I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-O-ENqlJiI