Thursday, January 27, 2011

1-27-11 Losing Branches

1-27-11  Losing Branches

As I write my blog today I am sitting here in a land coverd in ice and snow, the scenery is lovely but the cold is awful! It's a pretty scene but there are many dangers, not all will survive... I am so looking forward to spring...but first a bit more winter for us all...

So Saturday I wake up and laze around my clean house and then decide to go grocery shopping. I was really enjoying picking out just what I wanted to eat for the coming week instead of trying to find what would be enough to keep my son fed the whole week and something would be left for me also! LOL I went up and down the isles enjoying myself, got one of those little one egg frying pans also and then I saw the canned cheese, now this is something a bit expensive (to me)  unless its on sale and also something that no matter how many cans I buy I venture to guess it's been over 10 years since I actually got to eat any of it. I am convinced my boys both had canned cheese radar and squirrled it away before the rest of the groceries were even un-packed. But anyway this day I happily put the can in my cart, with my reduced fat triscuts and looked forward to being able to have some one evening as a phone rang and it was Jeremy calling to say he'd come do some work if i picked him. Hungy I bet he is I thought to myself and picked us each up a subway sandwich....guess what he put on it when I wasn't looking? Yup, at least 1/2 the can of cheese! Dang it! Well next can I get to eat... LOL

I kept hoping Randy would text and let me know if he was coming up, but by 3 pm I hadn't heard from him. I was driving my son home and talking to him of his ex-girlfriend issues and I gave him some advice and then I said how even I act crazy, that I had broken up with and went back to Randy a dozen times since the summer. It was at that moment I realized that man must love me and I decied to text him to see if he was coming, I waited 2hrs and then headed out to see No Strings Attached, just before the movie started he texted that he'd be there at 7:30, good I said moive gets out at 7:15....however he arrived before me but let me tell you it's really nice to go out to see a romantic movie and come home on a cold winter night and find a warm man waiting for you. We had a nice time, no bringing up bad subjects, I told him of my house buying woes and he told me of his snowmobiling. He said he had driven over and checked out the new house and he said he can come over on bike and park in back. I have pretty much decided to put up with this, seeing him when I can. I figure I got more work to do as a single person and he got to let her stay a bit longer and I am still going to date whoever asks me....he did ask me to go to Vermont with him so I said yes but I can only afford my meals. He said great he'd let me know when...

Sunday I had a walking event and had a lovely time. One of my long time friends said she was glad to get a chance to talk to me as other events I am surrounded by people, and one in particular is not nice and says all the seats are taken. I must say that info factored into a descion I made two days later....and that was to clear off some branches and make room for new growth. But anyway I was happy and hopefull and making plans for spring walking trips. Then I came home and the cold hard reality of winter was not just at my door it was in my house! I had run out of Oil! I knew it was low when Jeremy checked it and had planned to order some monday. I called and they wanted a ton of cash to come out for emergency delivery so I went to Walmart and bought 2 space heaters for a third the cost of the emergency delivery.

Monday was work and dealing with meetup stuff and calling for fuel, seems they couldn't deliver till thursday! That is today but my driveway is covered in 3 feet of snow! I called and they said I'd have to wait another week when I asked them to come out after noon....once the snow plow came. I argued I was 1/4 mile from the place and they were firm till I started crying on the phone! I just don't think I could go another week w/o heat and I have no cable TV to boot! I really am going through some long dark nights over here....but I am keeping the faith and knowing that spring will come, it always does come... Tuesday and Wednesday were also spent on some social network drama, it got so bad that I just walked away from it all. It's amazing how people will start getting controlling and bossy and fearful and all sorts of other things when money is involved and finances are tight. Anyone can be a friend in good times but its how they treat you in the bad ones that really counts, even the best of people get hard to deal with when thier fear button is pushed. The important thing is to get away from that when it happens and don't get dragged into it. I wish I could say I walked away soon enough on this one but I didn't, words were said, I still have that need to defend myself and its something else I need to look at. But that's the good thing about hard times, it shows us what we need to work on.

So today I sit here a winter wonderland coverd in snow, freezing my behind off and only have internet to entertain me. At least I can do my job from home, work on the new meetup groups I bought and are going to build from scratch with fresh new faces and no old dead wood, and I have netflix.....thank god for netfix! Curse you suburban propane! LOL The plow just came I must go out and shovel the car out.....

Today I want you to take a look at the dead branches in your life, or the ones barely alive, the ones that don't produce any fruit for shade and see if you can stir up a nice storm and shake them off.... Take your cue from nature and know that in order for new life to grow old dead life must be removed, just as ice clings to trees and breaks off the dead branches so must you do the same in your life..........this cold dark night of my life will be ending with the spring thaw and I will be transplanted in a new place. I am getting rid of my dead branches...what about you???

With Love and in the Light,  Cassie

Foreigner - Cold as Ice

PS: I forgot to add my gratitudes in this blog and I have several
I am greatful for my son and his roomate who came over and shoved me out on wednesday, the $20 each and the lunch I bought them was worth it
I am greatful that last week I heard from Shawn my ex-husbands best friend because he needed help posting an event because he came to help work on my furnace
I am greatful for my meetup member who is getting taken to court by his crazy ex and called me late last night because he needs me to sign a testimony for him, he is coming over tonight for that signature and bringing rock salt to get my car unstuck from the driveway
I am greatful that my house did not close the end of Jan as predicted because there's just way too much snow on the ground and my pack rat would be too hard to get out.

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