10-15-10 Letting Go

10-15-10 Letting Go

Well the next thing I have to do to love myself fully is to let go of the people and things that aren't serving me well or are not right for me anymore. And sometimes it's not so much a matter of fully letting go but of just shifting the focus and meaning of it or them. One example I can think of for this is friendships/relationships, often we enter into these thinking one way about a person and getting into it and seeing them better and realize what you wanted it to be is never going to be. The old me used to just toss everyone aside who let me down or didn’t live up to my standards, (friends and lovers come to me so easily I forget to value then enough at times) but the new me has learned that there is value in all relationships, don’t toss anyone away just don't invest too much in what's not giving back equally.

First thing I am letting go of is my youngest son. He has been by my side and close to my heart his whole life. It was my dream that he live with me forever, even when he found a wife I figured he could bring her to live with us and I'd be the live in grandma. But this scenario of enabling his bad behavior has got to end. So yesterday I filled in my benefits request and I took him off my medical insurance and dental and such, saved me a bit so that’s a few extra dollars I am going to get in my paycheck. Since he won’t be living with me in the New Year he doesn’t really qualify anyway as a dependent. To make the point in my heart that I did the right thing I got home and he and 4 friends were there eating all my food, locusts I have always called them! I love being friends with his friends, they love me so much but I can't let them use me and my home as a place to sneak around and drink and party anymore eating all my food breaking things and leaving messes. I have told them again and again but they don’t listen, all I need is an underage raid of my home and losing it to the courts for this reason, its happened to others I won’t let it happen to me. As I told him, his brother moved out at 18 and self supported he got 2 extra years to get his act together. And it’s so wrong that he never gives me a penny and his brother had to send me money. No time to let that one go--- I can take him to dinner once a week and he can come visit me for holidays but my job is done. It’s time to push the bird out of the nest, that’s loving myself and it’s also loving him, he will never be strong if I keep giving to him.


Next thing I had to let go of is that lovely house on the bay that I wanted, and my hope of Randy living with me or marrying me, if he wants to be friends I will be but I doupt he will he only had time for me when he wated one thing. I tried to fool myself but Vic was right that was NOT loving myself. And I looked today and not only did he say No to me but the house was gone the same day per listing: Withdrawn (10/10/2010) Cat:RNT Life's pretty cruel to me most of the time despite the fact that I work so hard to do so much for so many, but I can’t be even curler to myself by not trying to make it better. I gotta somehow keep my chin up and keep my faith in God strong. That also reminds me of a conversation I had on facebook today with my older son, he's a bible thumper that one and always gets on my case regarding the psychics and other such divination tools I use. But you know, while all the people I use also believe in god I do know that that God prefers us to NOT use these tools as a crutch. Reasons for this are: our fates are changed with each decision we made for example both 3 yrs ago and this summer I was told I would have a child with Randy, both times I had a near miss, both times he didn’t step up when he knew it was a possibility and both times I am fairly sure I lost it. We are not meant to know the future unless GOD tells us, he wants us to live one day at a time and trust in him to work it all out. We are meant to make blind choices, based on our hearts because it’s HE who speaks to our hearts.

So today I am also letting go of fear and anxiety and worry. I am letting go fully of going to psychics, tarot readers, everything, besides no matter what they see it changes in an instant with each choice we make. The only tools I am going to use moving forward are my angle cards, because those are meant to assist the angles in telling me what I need to know in the here and now. I am also going to work hard to listen to my own inner voice-----it does speak to me when it wants to! I do believe its God, and what I must practice more is to not force it but to just allow it.......be still and know that I am God.......

Lastly I am letting go of my house. It has been a home and a haven for 20 years. It’s a miracle that I was able to keep up the payments on it and keep it from falling apart but now it’s near that. So much is in need of repair there and it’s time to let it go and move on. A home is security, its comfort, its family but trust me you can have those things ANYwhere, that old saying that home is where the heart is really is true and my boys can come and spend holidays with me where ever I end up.......I am going to follow my heart......right now as I sit and wait for 5pm to come its not a question of am I leaving and when as both of those are answered for me by circumstances beyond my control.......the only question remaining is will I be renting or will I be buying when I move to Keyport next month........but right now I must let that go and trust in God that whatever way he’s in control and he will take care of me.

Today look in your life and see what you need to let go of. Love yourself enough to get yourself out of situations that aren’t in your best interest. No one is meant to be a cash cow, a slave, used and abused by any one or any circumstance. Don’t let fear keep you in a bad place.......have faith and just let go! And while you are at it write down all your hurts, your pains, your disappointments and let them go too! In my heal your heart workshops I have them write these down and we burn them, it’s so freeing and you can do the same! Let go so you can welcome in all the Loving things God has in store for you…..



With Love and in the Light, Cassie


Let It Go

PS, my son is convinced that the reason my house didnt sell yet is because I asked so may psycis and i didnt trust in God---i have asked god to forgive me for that ---2.5 hrs to go i wonder if he can't forgive me and let it sell in time??? ah but faith i guess is trusting no matter what happens....