9-27-10

9-27-10

Well yesterday was another lovely day for me but also with some sadness and let downs, only this time it was less sadness as it seems the joy is getting stronger and overshadowing the hard parts more and more. I am certain if I keep clinging to the good and releasing the bad easily this will all be ok in the end....

I woke up Sunday morning all happy and joyful about the house I found, nothing has felt this right for me in a very long time, the only hint of a doubt is the size of the bedrooms but I did say I wanted to downsize.... With that in mind I decided that I needed to go to Mass and thank God for this house, even though it wasn’t mine yet I knew I had to give thanks anyway, knowing that the only reason anything would go not go my way is if God knew something I didn't or had an even better idea. Randy texted me just before I left and asked if had fun last night and I said yes and that I was going to church, he texted he wished he could go and I told him he can go in spirit, I will say prayers for you and hey we can go together when we are in Vermont I said and he liked that idea. Send me a picture of you when you try on your wet suit I added..... I then looked up at my car and noted that I was past due for an oil change, darn it! I was struck by an idea---hey maybe after church I can come down for an oil change.......sure he said!

I got in the car and headed for church and got a call from my realtor. He told me the owners would not accept the price I offered for rent, they wanted much more and I am not able to afford that much, tears welled in my eyes and a lump in my throat as I told him to keep looking for me then. I then got a photo of Randy in his wet suit, he loved it but it was kinda tight he said, hard to breathe he said---well put it back on e-bay and order a bigger one I told him. I thought about it and wondered if it was a sign that the house was going to be "too tight" for us? It really is my dream for him and I to live there together eventually---I even had a fantasy of him buying it for us and me paying rent to him instead, he could do a rent to own with his "kid", let the mother stay, he could keep his motorcycle there till we could build a detached garage....it was working out as a rent to own on my house after all and my kid staying in my house with Todd....ah but there I am planning someone else’s life I put that thought down...

I walked in church a tad late and slipped in and was happy to see I sat next to my friend Kathy, we need to start hanging out her and I....and then Vic slipped in next to me! It was good to see him and at the Our Father he took my hand, he's like family to me now and I know we will always be friends despite our squabbles. I also ran into Colin and his wife and son and he said he missed me, well I am a cafeteria catholic and I get summer off I told him and we had a good laugh, I am back now no worries. Vic gave me a tisk tisk though when I told him I was going for an oil change and not staying for the picnic---but I gave him the stones I had ready for sale for safekeeping during my move and we made plans to get busy on the business plans for the Christmas rush. He has the same goal that I have---to make a ton of money on this business so that we can make helping others and our ministry our life’s work. With Randy to ground me I am now willing to open up to the full powers from above to do this work...

As I was getting ready to leave he was cautioning me on the Randy thing again, all my friends do and I don't resent them for it--they keep me grounded in that arena because I would float away on my feelings of love if not and that's just not a place that is safe for me when the one I love belongs to another. But I got in my car and said a prayer for God to be with me and to help me know what to do about him and the house and all of it...Vic came over to my car and offered ME an Spiritstone and wished for me the power of discernment, amazing right because I had just got done praying for that very thing! There really is much energy when he and I work together as a team....

Driving down for my oil change I stopped and got a late breakfast, thinking of Vics words on sure you like him you can’t have him but 24/7 would he be the one? I looked up and a car with a license plate that said Im 1 4 U was in front of me and I smiled.... I shopped while I waited for the car and got a nightgown and jeans for out VT trip half price and my car was done shortly before his day was so we agreed to meet after. I am laughing at myself for seeing him two days in a row just after I decided to see him less since he doesn’t want to be with me now but oh well. When he met me he told me "she" hadn’t come home the night before and I said well see this is good, be roommates tell her about me and we won’t need to sneak around I said---yeah you can come to my house------no way is that going to happen but still no more sneaking would be so nice...

We had a lovely time together and ended the day by going to the take out place and driving to the bay to sit in the car and eat and watch the boats and the seagulls. We talked about how we always loved Sunday evenings, getting take out and making a picnic in bed and watching family guy -he said these past three years he did that when he had the time and was sad looking over to the other side of the bed and me not there. I told him the past three years I came here to the bay and sat and looked over to the empty seat in my car......I knew then I was making the right choice to move to Keyport, with or without him I love it there and I can ride my bike to town from that house and I need to find way to pay for it! God will provide all my needs I know it. I then mentioned to him how he wants to get his VT cabin in the remote area that he loves, but I said now if you don't live near the town where the stores and the movie theater are what will I do all day while you ride? And if you already live there where will you ride to??? You got a point about that he said....

I told him he better head home, I really hadn't intended to spend any more Sundays with him so she wouldn’t wonder and start demanding he come home but this was special I said. He said he loved it that we were together and he stayed and talked a lot longer...and when I got home later I was thinking about him before I went to sleep and went downstairs to send him an e-mail about an idea I had...I keep my cell phone downstairs and was surprised to here the beep of a text coming through! It was him! And we texted back and forth for a bit before going to sleep......24/7 with him oh yeah we could do it we like the same food the same shows we like a neat house and we have lots of stuff in common and also secure enough to allow each other space for our own things too.... I always lived by the quote: Follow Your Heart and You Will Never Get Lost...my heart leads me time and time again to Randy and to Keyport so how could I be wrong? Driving home the song came on the radio on the oldies station he had me put on in the car, the one that played on my home radio and Mary's home radio 3 yrs ago when we were on the phone and I was trying to decide if I wanted to go get him back then the line standing out: I'd rather live in his world than live without him in mine........

The card today was Abundance and I am certain that God is going to find some way for me to get this house! He confirmed it by my friend sending a text about the event idea and her brother would be calling me, Beth and I ironed out details for our workshop, I came up with a possible idea for Randy and the paranormal team to meet. I also was trying to think of how to get tickets to see the Nutcracker with my cousin who just started a new business www.thechristmasaddict.com/ He is coming to the city with his partner and they got tickets for The Nutcracker on Christmas eve in NYC, I haven’t seen him in years and he and I used to decorate like fools every year! My house his house grandma’s house inside and out! However the year Grandma got the tin foil tree with the rotating light was NOT his or mine idea! LOL I told them not to worry God would help me get my ticket.......I was just in a conference call and he called real fast to say he and Rik would buy my ticket!! I am not good at receiving but I am going to try, this is going to be great!

How is your harvest been? Are you seeing abundance? Or are you coming up a little short? What else to do you really really need? Not greed but need? All you have to do is ask and you shall receive............and trust me if you need any validation on your discernment for which way to turn when things get tough just ask! The angels will put out flashing neon signs to show you the right path!


With Love and in the Light, Cassie

Midnight Train to Georgia