10-29-10 Truth and Reality

"Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world.The forms may change, yet the essence remains the same.Every wonderful sight will vanish; every sweet word will fade,But do not be disheartened,The source they come from is eternal, growing,Branching out, giving new life and new joy.Why do you weep?The source is within you And this whole world is springing up from it."
- Rumi

10-29-10 Truth and Reality

Wednesday night after work I headed to the dollar store to get some supplies for the Attract Your Soul mate workshop that I am going to give with Beth on Nov 13th. I got some poster boards and scissors and glue sticks and pretty post-its to write the intentions on and was all excited about it. I had printed out some pictures at work from my soul mate collage online and I was trying to figure out what guys I find attractive for my center, the one I had gone to before we were to put a few pictures and it was meant to bring us someone who looked like that. I had no one in mind, now that I am older I am much more flexible in what or who I find attractive, its more about WHO they are more than ever now. I had thought of printing out pics of guys I had dated in the past with the thought of him being a combination of the best qualities in each of them but Randy's was the only one I came up with, all other guys visions of them only had negative feelings so I put his and then I put some of Aragon (from Lord of the Rings) because I like his character. I hoped I wasn't being too attached to an outcome that way and I did ask God to show me if I was.

In the store and in the parking lot I ran into many of the kids that hang out at my house with Jeremy and reflected on how I will miss them, but then thought of how I will love my peace and I know they will visit me. I also ran into a friend and told her of the Holiday Vendor Bazzar I am putting together for all my friends who are vendors. She started telling me about a psychic she went to see and I got all interested in it but then re-called that I don't use that stuff anymore when she told me of something they said may happen to her. I told her don't listen to that if you don't like it, CREATE the REALITY that you want for yourself! I recalled also how earlier in the day I was e-mailing a gal pal with concerns about my house and move and she was dishing out her version of how my reality was going to go and I got on her for being so harsh about it. She said yeah I need to learn more of fantasy from you and you need to learn more of reality from me. I replied--- its ALL fantasy, all of this.......and truly it is everything you see hear touch taste feel experience was created by your mind, and creation was made from God's mind! Truly what I tell you is so, ponder on this for a bit....once you get it you will see how easy it is to create the reality of your choosing, so long as it doesn't go against the will of someone else....

So I went home and I started on the project, with Randy's picture in the middle. I got more than a third of it done and got and IM from a gal that Vic introduced me to online, she has had many boyfriend problems but is now happy....I told her what I was doing and she said just pray it's so much easier than trying to do a spell or something. Well I am not trying to do a "spell" but I did recall how the first time around they said do not leave anything out or you wont get it, and I had left a few things out and that is why Randy was nearly perfect for me but a few too important to compromise things weren't there. So I remembered to write on it And anything dear God that I forgot but you know I need...and I prayed over it and went to bed to read. I want God's truths to come to my life not a fantasy that I create for myself. I also prayed for it to be Randy and felt the message, what if it's not him? and I said it could be him he just needs to heal and the voice said He doesn't want to heal, not now anyway...I took his picture off my vision board and decided to leave the who all up to God.


I went to bed and picked up my book Intimacy by Osho, the one I was reading over the summer. With me you will find I can be reading half a dozen books all at once and it just depends on where I left it, my car, my bed, my beach bag, in the living room, on the bathroom even that I sit down and pick it up and sometimes they get shifted....the point is I have a tendency to pick up and start reading just what I need to be reading at any given point in my life and this was no exception. He was speaking of truth and how we each need to come to our own truths and that no one should force their version of reality onto you. He said it's not how society, that has so much slavery in it, or religions that are built around rules and fear normally teach us but it is in fact how our creator intended it to be. He also said the we must not impose our own belief system on to children and we should allow them to develop their own. Now my faith always taught me to train up a child in the way he should go and I still do believe in that, BUT I think the best way is to teach them what you believe and why but do not force it on them and do not say its the only way that's right.

Thinking on this also brought me back to Randy and his 12 yr old mentality (which he readily admits and thinks its a good thing). Again not something I am condemning him for but something that in many ways I respect him for, except for when it gets in the way of when I need him to be an adult! But anyway, I see that I had so many beliefs and dreams for us and I kept trying to make him see and believe in the dream that I was creating in my head and didn't do enough listening to his. Well I did some listening but his and mine were too different and we didn't do enough talking and dreaming TOGETHER to create a reality that we would both be happy living in. I would have talked to him but again our time was so short together and so rushed and guarded and hidden in lies and secrets from his family. You can't build something good in the dark! Don't even try it. This is why it didn't work for us.
So anyway I got up this morning and I picked up the sign I had pulled out of the back of my closet, I had used to get stickers and such from places I went to and kept them there to look at......this one was from when I lived out west and it was a imitation street sign of Sunrise Blvd. It suddenly dawned on me Sunrise! That's the name of the street I want to move to (well Way not Blvd but close enough)! I contacted my realtor to see if he had found the owner yet........he said no but I have his name.......his name was the same as my very first boyfriend! two signs, yep and when I had prayed last night again for this place I felt God say I am working on it... I feel pretty good about all this and I came home and I called in and paid my mortgage one more time. I was hanging onto the money for a down payment on rental but I felt strongly that I should hang on there and keep from having my credit messed up just in case they call me Monday and make an offer on my house.... I put in a sell order on the tiny bits of stocks I have and said a prayer to God to make them sell high enough to cover rent and deposit and security on the house I am going to be moving into in a couple of weeks....... I never should have said out loud so many times that God always takes to the very last minute to save me! I made that reality come true!

Today what are you believing? Are you living YOUR truth or the truth according to what someone else told you it was going to be? We all have well meaning friends and relatives who try to caution us, and its wise to be aware.......but take my word for it.......until it shows up at your door its NOT real! Don't be afraid to fantasize and dream a little while you live in your present moment, that's what reality is made of...........


With Love and in the Light, Cassie
Dream

A bird sitting on the branch of a tree is not afraid if the branch breaks, because the bird trusts it's own wings and not the branch.... To win - Believe in yourself.